dramadreamer39

......so.....

I hate myself......i really really really really do....

i'm a shitty friend......my grades at school suck.......and i'm an aweful person....

I mean all i do is cause other people pain.....

would anybody ever actualy notice or care if i slipped away and never was seen again....

sometimes I wonder....

your alll prolly reading this and want to know what the storie is....

alll want to know the stupid secret thats tearing me apart and makeing me feel more and  more alone and lost....but the fact is i'm not gunna tell you....

the fact is you don't really care y i'm hurting...

you don't care who i hurt....

and don't care if i never sign back onto this web site and never write an entry ever again....

you just read this for fun and to gossip about peoples problems that you don't hafta deal with.....

go ahead go pretend you care....

the fact is by tomarrow you'll forget you ever read this blog entry....

Caitlin

Hey.......Um so today kinda sucked....

I found out some shit that i really didn't wanna find out....

and it led to me dumbing my boyfriend.....

um i was thinking about dumping him anyway....I mean he always ignors me, he never returns my phone calls, and he never returns my myspace messages. I mean i just passed it over for what? the last friggen 4 weeks! but now i'm done! He's and ass and you wanna know what the tip of the ice berg was? He was gunna have sex with some other girl behind my back! I mean if he was just gunna cheat on me why did he frucken ask me out in the first place! GOD I'M SO PISSED! my life sux and its all because of his fucken assholeness!

Man I always pick the wrong guys! I'm so stupid! I can't get anything right! Why do all guys hafta be horny and always want more more and more!?!?!?!?!

I'm just like balling my eyes and trying to figure out what to do! i'm so lost and confused!

A broken heart is like a broken mirror...it is better to leave it broken then hurt yourself trying to fix it....

Caity~Lynn'~'

Hey! So i did not lie i was just a little late on finishing my NYC story lmao.

Ok so lets see were di i leave off...hmn....O yea so after the naturel musem of art we went to brodway and had dinner. It was so cool and we got to watch music videos on like 50 million big screen TV's. IT WAS AMAZZING!

Well then after that we spent like a half hour at a starbucks waiting to go see Spamalot. It was fun cuz we were right by this underground parking garage and every time some drove by we would like yell at them lamo.

Well then we went and saw spamalot which was like amazing! it was so funny and the music was incredible. I am gunna be on one of those stages one day i swear! But duyring the show there were these canadian boys sitting l8ike right ajacent to our left in the back and so i was pointing out this one realy cute guy who had been checking me out and these two guys who were right by us thought we were checking them out and so we started passing notes and traded numbers. It was so funny. 

Well then we got back to the hotel and the real fun started. Like almost everyone on the trip got either drunk or high! I mean it was sooo bad! I mean a little drink everynow and then is ok but these kids got smashed! I was partialy incharge of getting people into rooms so uk my night was not left on fazed by those people.

So then the next day we went to some more museums and did some shopping and that was all very good fun. Then on the last day we packed up and did some shoping in china town and then headed home. It was a super fun trip but my mom found out about the drinking :/ kinda scared niw but whatever at leats i won't get in trouble :) k well i gtg bye!

Caity~Lynn♥

Yea so today kinda sucked....

Lets see well it started off with me already being pissed at my boyfriend.

Let me see should I start at the begining........

So lats saturday i txt my boyfriend cuz were supposed to hang out i get like two texts in back and forth and then he stops. The next day at like 7:00pm he texts me and says his phone was taken away cuz he was helpen his dad cut down a tree and his dad toook away his phone cuz he didn't want him haveing any distractions. So i believed him I mean it was just two days it was ok. Well then on Monday i text him and he says he's busy at his moms so maybe we can hang on tuesday. Three days..... Then on tuesday i text him and he never gets back to me........Four days..... So I am fairly pissed at him at the moment. He seems to think its ok to just ignor me. I mean we've been going out for two weeks and a half and we had one date. I huged him ONCE and kissed ZERO times! I mean wtf! I am sooooooo pissed at him. I like him so much and he doesn't even care!

Well so back to today i decided to kinda ignor him cuz i was still realy emotional from the day before and I thought that if I looked at him i would end up crying. And I did this for the whole day. I don't think he even noticed once. He never called my name out like he usualy does or smiled at me in the hall. HE DIDN'T FRIGGEN CARE! I'm just so sad right now. So now I tryed to text him like and hour ago and I got nothing back yet..... i think he's gunna dump me......i just realy like him....and he's barly even given me a chance....

Well ok I'll move on now to the second part. Lets see on friday i'm leaving to go with my art club to NY and I missed the final and most important meeting.........my mom was so pissed. But that wasn't too horrible cuz she got over it fast. But I am mad because I wanted to room with two of my best friends and its the last year in the school I'm in but no....i only get to room with one of them.....I'M SOOOOOOOOOOOO MAD!

But now we will come to the thrid and final part of my extremly horrible day. I let my team down at my track meet. Lets see here is a laydown on how it went:

400 Hurdel: We had only 4 sets of hurdels set up and there were 5 people running and since I am the slowest at the 400 i had to run the first race by myself and got a 99 :(

100 Hurdel: Had to run in the slow heat with another gilr from my school. Just me and her. I beat her but only beat my best score of 24.3 seconds by a millasecond making it a wooping 24.2.......

100 Strait Away: There were like 6 girls.....I got second to last...beat a girl from my school.....got 15.4.....

4 by 4: i was ahead of this one girl.....then on the last straight away she got ahead of me.....yea uk what happened.....

So yea for the most part that was amazingly awful day lol. Well now i gotta go cuz one of my weird friends is asking me to redo his myspace for him. lmao BYE!

Caity~Lynn♥