dramadreamer39

Seriously were are you....?

I can't find you no matter were I look.

I've looked at school, in the mall, I even looked under my shoe ok!

Ok the last ones a lie but still...Why's it so hard to find a good guy in high school. I mean yea ik its jsut high school I'll find even better guys later on but really now....I havent had a boy friend for o what now? 2 years.....ik pathetic right? I've liked two guys since my ex but just my luck neither one liked me

Its kinda like I'm never good enough...I mean take one look at me and tell me wha u think. Pasty skin, to tall, freckels all over her....what does that come out to, to you? Well idk u tell me!

I mean i allways thought I was miledly attractive but now I'm just lost. It may also be my personality. I'm a pretty loud person at heart and shy when I first meet someone, but when I get to know them I'm really crazy and exciting. Uk what i don't even know why I'm shy. I mean I don't care what people think about me so why am I so scared?

Life is so confuzzeling sometimes. Well I gtg I'm supposed to be working on hmwk . lol. Well ttyl! Cyea!

Caity~Lynn

Ello everyone!

So as it says in the title today was just a day...just an ordinary day lol

I decided that i don't really wanna do golf the season only lasts like idk 3 weeks tops? Dumb! I think I'm gunna do track cuz it lasts until the end of the year.

Then I had acting class which, as allways, is the highlight of my week! Its the one place, other then my home, were I feel that I can truly express myself. I mean no one jugdes you on how you act, what you look like, or what you wear. Its not as scary as high school there. And there I can be who ever I want.

You see I've been in the same school since I was like in preschool ok. This is cuz my school is pre-k through 12th and well it sucks ok. People might say its prolly better cuz I get to allways be with all my friends and I never have to worry about fitting in or anything but trust me its hard. Here are my top 2 reasons why:

1) If I ever wanted to start over as someone new...SORRY NOT POSSIBLE! Everyone has known me since I was little I can't just go to school oneday and have a new track record. And once a rumor, that everyone believes, gets out about you. Trust me your dead meat. It will haunt you for the rest of your high school life.

2) So you think that its great you get to stay with all your friends, Huh? Well....BEEP....wrong again. Its truly not. Unless you have like the bff's that are truly your bff's then it totally. After years and years of thinking you know someone they turn right around and stab you in the friggen back. Then you see others evolve into b***es, sluts, jerks, jokes, "populars", and so on and so forth. I mean, where does it end?!?!?! But if your really lucky you have at least one or two friends who don't ever change, they may matchure and such like everyone ese, but they allways care and trust you, so you can trust them.

So there you are. My top two reasons. Now if you know me in real life and you would like to know more specifices about comment number two...sorry but I won't talk about it. I don't wanna pass crap around for other people to fall to deep into. Its not my place. Well thats the end for now! Tata kiddios see yea soon!

Caity~Lynn*

Ok so today I thought I would just kinda ramble on about.....well....0.o.....I guess what ever's really floatng around in this strrange head of mine xD. You don't really hafta read this entry if you don't want to. I just made it public so that......um......well.....ok idk why I just did xD

Well lets begin with why I'm mad at my friend Dan from bowling shall we. Ok so about two weeks ago now, when I was at bowling for my league, this new kid had joined the team. His name was Greg. I really didn't care about him at all when I first met him I just wanted to bowl. So we went through the first game fine. But then we got to the second game and he started saying sexual comments at me and telling me that dan wanted to date me just to f*** me. Which, just so uk now, me and Dan are not dateing and i don't think we ever will. So I told him to leave me alone but he just persisted on and wouldn't stop so by the end of the night I decided to report him. I told the league manager everything I could  and when she asked if anyone could give her back up I told her the other girl on the leagues name and Dan.

So over the week the manager called the two up and the one girl came out about him saying all that stuff to both her and myself but when she called Dan he completly chikened out. I mean he just wanted to act like nothing ever happened and that I should just let it go. Well here's a new's flash for you Dan.....I CAN'T!!!!!!! I am not the type of person who just lets other people walk all over me! If i tell them to stop treating me like s*** once they better listen the first time or they're gunna face the friggen conciquence's for there actions! I havent been back to bowling since then and its not because i don't wanna see Greg. I mean don't want to see him and if he comes near me I just might flip...but I think its more the fact that the guy who I thought was my best friend didn't have enough balls to tell the guy who was sexualy harrasing me to shove off 

Ok well hows about next we talk about something on a more happy note MY BIRTHDAYS IN 9 DAYS! I'M GUNNA BE 15!!! WOOT! And two days after my birthday I get my braces off! YES! I didn't even hafta have'em on for a year tho so it's pretty nice.

Then on April 10th....drumroll please!......I'm going to Ireland!!!! WOOTNESS!!!.....AGAIN!!!!! I get to go see all my awsome cousins and then get a huge tour of Ireland. Man i just can't wait!

Let me see what else is running through my head right now..... O yea I hate my french and art teacher to friggen death. My french teacher...well she has definatly reached a whole new level of stupid in general xD. I have not learned one new thing all year! Then my art teacher.....0.o....well ok i'll admit it....I can't draw for s*** I only took the class for the credits but man I can't believe how friggen mean she is to me just for that! In class she completly hates me but outside of class when I talk to her about the art club trip to NY ((which is open to people outside of art club...aka myself xD)) and she like loves me. I'm so confuzzeled.

Well now that this entry is the size of my english paper I think I should take a break and let your guy's eye's rest Well I'll bbs! Cyea! 

Caity~Lynn*

P.S. I have one quike onpinion question. I wanna join a spring sport at my school but I'm not sure which I should join. I wanna do track because I am a fairly good runner and I'm a really high jumper, but then I wanna do golf because throughout the 50 years theres been a golf team at my school there has never been one girl on the team so uk its kinda bout fighting the power. If anyone ended up reading this entry and has a suggestion for me feel free to comment! Thanks!

So I was thinking latly....I have a pretty boring life.

I go to school like any other kid.

Once and a while I do a theater show.

Some times I dress over the top.

But really doesn't every other kid in the world do the same thing?

I wish I was able to tell someone something like, "I going to be on next weeks episode of Hannah Montana as a guest."

Or mabey something like, "I'm modeling for Prada in next monthes issue of Vouge."

But it would also just be enough to be able to say, "I got the lead part in grease at school."

But you know nothing like that ever happens to me.

I don't have very good acting skills for one thing, I'm not skinny enough to model, and I have more of a classical music/opera voice then pop or modern day music.

Gah I wish i had at least a web cam but i don't even have that.

Blah! Whatever I'll just hafta try to make my life just a little more exciting!

Well gtg cyea!