dramadreamer39

So yea pretty much the title says it all....

I screwed up yet again!

I'm just a stupid ball of insain retardedness that idk what to do with

So there was this guy who was dating my best friend and I guess I was the reason they broke up :/

and this was a while back just a little fyi

So then to make things better with my friend I told her I didn't like him while all the time I still did. So now I was feeling like i was ready to tell him the whole story and everything that happened. And well that just ended up blowing up right in my fucken face.

So two days ago he tells me he still likes me and at this point i'm like super dooper hopeful and I'm totally ready to tell him I like him. But me being the stupid idiot I am told him he shouldn't like me cuz i'm way to friggen confusing. Yea ik dumb ass idea. But truthfuly for a guy who has liked me for two months now i didn't expect him to get over me within the nest 24 hours of telling me he liked me.

But so yesterday I was at the park and i kinda wanted him to come meet me there but he told me he was busy. So then I'm sitting in this little fort thing we have at the park and i see him messing around with someother girl! And this is just the day after he told me he still liked me! WITHIN 24 HOURS!

Ok yes ik it was mianly my fault...I told him not to like me and i guess he must have taken it to seriously. But right now I am just a basket full of emotions and I had to get this out somewere. I mean yea ik anyone could read this including him but whatever screw it idc if he knows anymore. He didn't even really wanna take the time to figure things out anyway.

I really thought he was a nice kid. I guess all he is, is a lieing sack of shit. Well I'm done with it all. I mean this isn't even half of the story. There is still a shit load of stuff i didn't write on here. But i'm not gunna type it cuz for thing it will take to long and for another thing ik he's gunna read this and i don't wanna make it that easy for him to figure everything out.

I mean yea he would say you should instant message me or you shoudl txt me but there was so much to say that it would have been way to hard to say it all. I needed to say it face to face but I guess he didn't get the friggen hint!

Personaly I don't think he deserves any pitty from me right now. O yea and my best friend who dated him still likes him so i was about to maybe screw up my realationship with her yet again just for this jerk? wtf was i thinking! GAH!

Well I still love you people but I gots one more problem. I really enjoy blogging but It really doesn''t seem like anyone does it that much on here so i feel kinda dumb. should I switch to another site if i wanna blog?

Hmn well thanks anyways guys. BYES!

Caity~Lynn♥

Hiya everyone!

So unlike my last entry i'm am doin quiet well tehehe

So the thing that happned that i talked about in my last entry my last entry I'm still not gunna say what it was but everythings been getten better so I've been very happy about it 

Well then let me see what else is goin on.....O! Only three more days left of being a 9th grader!!!!!!!!!!! WOOT WOOT WOOT! And also this will be my first and last year with the ham monster! You will prolly not know who she is unless you read a prior entry of mine but she is an evil french teacher who is a retard! But yes I am almost positive that she will not be here next year :)

Ok now there is actually alot on my mind to write so i'll just start off with the biggest thing thats bothering me. So one of my best friends who is graduating this year joined the airforce like last summer but thats not what i'm worried about. He may be getting this job were i won't see him for 6 years! 6 YEARS! Idk wth i'm gunna do. And then when six years are up i'll only be able to see him for three weeks before he hasta go away again! I mean wtf! how could our stupid ass government me so fucken screwed up! It makes me sooooooo pissed off! I love him like an older brother and now the government wants to take him away from me and the rest of his friends and make him do som e stupid ass job! Go do the god damn job yourself if you want someone to do it cuz your not taken my friend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GAH!

ok well moving on. Well on the subject of moving on im moving! Yes ik excitment the only problem is idk when But awell idc. just to get me outa my stupid town would be nice lol.

Lets see next on the list is the never ever ever ending delemia of boys. Why the hell are they so confusing????? Its kinda annoying i'm not gunna lie. I mean when they wanna know if you like them they allways do that "you tell me who u like and i'll tell you who i do". ITS DUMB! OK! My god! If your gunna tell a girl you like her just do it! i mean yea rejection is scary but it girls are just as scared as u so relaxe. And yes ik i am being hypocritical myself but i guess i kinda reliazed guys do it just as much as girls so instead of guys bitchen about it all the time you should just say you do or you don't lol

ok well i gotta feed my guieane pigs so i'll ttyl! BYES!

Caity~Lynn♥

......so.....

I hate myself......i really really really really do....

i'm a shitty friend......my grades at school suck.......and i'm an aweful person....

I mean all i do is cause other people pain.....

would anybody ever actualy notice or care if i slipped away and never was seen again....

sometimes I wonder....

your alll prolly reading this and want to know what the storie is....

alll want to know the stupid secret thats tearing me apart and makeing me feel more and  more alone and lost....but the fact is i'm not gunna tell you....

the fact is you don't really care y i'm hurting...

you don't care who i hurt....

and don't care if i never sign back onto this web site and never write an entry ever again....

you just read this for fun and to gossip about peoples problems that you don't hafta deal with.....

go ahead go pretend you care....

the fact is by tomarrow you'll forget you ever read this blog entry....

Caitlin